ive realized today that i would not change
anything that has happend or that ive gone
throught. because it has gotten me to
where i am now.. things may not be perfect
but for once i am completly content,
yeah i may have a few complaints
here and there. but im happy.
and i hope things stay this way.
i have amazing friends and
bestfriends, a family who
even tho can annoy the hell
out of me still loves me, and
finally found a good guy = ).
i just cant wait for the summer
because it can only gett better
from here!

ugh today is one of thoes days
i just want to scream FUCK a million
times. but obviously that would get me
no where. these past 2 days i have been
in THE WORST mood, im worrying about
everything, stressing out, and i just
feel so empty, i dont even think empty
is the word for it.. blah i guess. i
keep thinking about one thing in pirticular
worrying if its going to work out or not,
and i guess im just apprehensive to see
how these next few days go. expecially
this weekend. i just want everything to
work out. and i think its me who is the
problem, last week was amazing, because
i wasnt spending so much time worrying
about it, or second guessing myself,
and then this week came around and idk
why i am so much, i mean i have a hint
as to why, but i should be over that by
now, this other person has been acting
normal its just me who is reading into everything.
i spend so much damn time contemplating over
the past and comparing to the past
instead of focusing on now, i mean
yes.. you need to learn from the past,
but you cant always depend on it for anwsers.
ahh. i just need to realize people arent always
going to act the same way to you, i mean everyone
has bad days or weeks, and how do i know if
that could be the reason or not?
i wish i could just knock myself out of
this funk.. i just cant wait till thurs.
and fri. thoes will be good days i hope = )

i'm learning to let go, to forgive, to forget grudges. to trust, to hope, and to believe the impossible. take a change, attempt a risk, speak your mind. never take life for granted--tomorrow may never come. make the most of what you have, and fight for your dreams. i'm learning now to live, to love, and to be loved. - quote from caralee

ohhh an it is an extreemly gorgeous day out it makes me happy..
so im going to go read outside = )

hmm people are pretty sweet these days..

idk what even else to say but that.

im happy.
and i actually had
a really good valentines day. = )
plus it snowed,
and i got off today and tommrow!


iloveyou chris

valentines day is tommrow...


and i think i care





on another note.
people piss me off..
when they act like they
are to good and better than
you, yeah its not cool.


on the bright side
it is snowing = )

you know what i hate,
whne you have 10000000000
things on your mind
and no one seems to get that,
they just want more more more

soo.. i was at the gym, and i had my ipod on shuffle,
and this song came on.. and it got me thinking of exactly how i feel


Landslide
Dixie Chicks

I took my love and I took it down
I climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love
Can the child within my heart rise above
Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides
Can I handle the seasons of my life

Well, I've been afraid of changing 'cause I built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I'm getting older too
Well...

Well, I've been afraid of changing 'cause I built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I'm getting older, too
Well I'm getting older too

So, take this love and take it down
Year and if you climb a mountain and ya turn around
And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills
Well the landslide brought me down
And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills
Well maybe
Well maybe
Well maybe the landslide will bring you down




because the truth is for the past few mon. my life has been a
landslide, and it deff. brought be down! i was so afraid of changes,
because my life wad pretty consistant, same friends.. school.. house.. boy.
then all of a sudden everything changed and it hit me really hard. and
as the song says time makes you bolder, which i think is what it is doing for me,
things are changing but for the better, im changing and growing. i know ill never
be perfect which is something i have troubles most with, but for once in my life im taking everything that has been going on and actually doing something about it, not just letting it go by